Bonding Time
by Random One-Shot
Summary: Yachiru. Tatsuki. Kidou lessons. Mass destruction of Seireitei will soon follow.


**Bonding Time **

**A Bleach Fanfic **

**I don't own any of the characters in this story. **

…**damn it….**

* * *

Tatsuki and Yachiru.

Rated K – because of violence.

* * *

"…And then you loop this piece of string over your middle finger, and…"

Tatsuki pulled her hands apart and the string tightened.

"Viola! You have cat whiskers!"

Yachiru, her own cat's cradle a tangled mess of string, tugged on it in frustration.

Tatsuki sighed and pulled her own string straight.

"Don't get upset, fukutaichou. It took me a few times to get it, too."

"It! Won't! Budge!" Yachiru spat as her little hands yanked and pulled in an attempt to free themselves from the cage of string.

'_Well, I can now claim to have successfully restrained my own fukutaichou_,' Tatsuki mused while she freed Yachiru's hands. _'That's something, I think.'_

As the only two females in the Eleventh Division (two and a half, if you counted Yumichika), Yachiru and Tatsuki would often find themselves engaging in bonding moments like the one at present – the newly promoted fourteenth seat teaching her lieutenant how to make cat whiskers with a piece of string swiped from Ishida's sewing supplies when he last came to visit Orihime at the Fourth Division.

"There, all done," Tatsuki said as the last knot came undone under her guidance.

Yachiru glared at the offending thread. Properly applied, a Yachiru glare could make most of the seated officers in the Gotei 13 weep in terror. Thankfully, Tatsuki was not one of them.

"Stupid string!" Yachiru cursed. "Shiny-san, this is boring! Can we practice _kidō_ again? I think I'm getting better at that!"

Yachiru and _kidō_. Never before had there been a more destructive combination in all of Soul Society history. Sadly, Yamamoto had decided that since Zaraki was a less than exemplary captain, Yachiru should try to bring up the slack by learning all of the _Shinigami_ arts.

Sio Fong was a captain with her own subordinates to boss around and improve on, and Omaeda was an idiot. Tatsuki wouldn't trust him with teaching _anyone_ _kidō_, much less the pink haired menace of the Eleventh.

Retsu and Isane had their hands full treating their patients every single day, which was actually mostly the Eleventh's fault to begin with. Tatsuki's longstanding rule of 'anyone who upsets Orihime will _die_' kept her division mates (and just about everyone else) from bothering her best friend, but the rest of the Fourth kept getting beaten up while they tried to do their jobs.

Byakuya was… Byakuya. He wouldn't lower himself from that high horse for a glass of water in the freaking desert, much less study time with Yachiru. Renji was denied for the same reason that Ikkaku and Yumichika had not been given permission to teach Yachiru – the reason being that their _kidō_ skills mostly sucked in general.

Komamura was willing, but Yachiru was easily distracted and his ears were tempting targets for a child with tendencies to grab whatever she thought was cute.

Nanao claimed work constraints. While this was technically true, since Shunsui was a complete bum about paperwork, Tatsuki truly doubted that the Eighth Division lieutenant couldn't find one hour in a week to instruct a fellow lieutenant in a practice that Nanao freely admitted was her specialty.

When approached, Hitsugaya turned a funny shade of green and ran off. He was not seen again for a week and no one wanted to know why. Matsumoto did, and that was probably why she declined the request as well.

Kurotsuchi would not be allowed near a child, ever. Even if that child was capable of leveling several tall buildings on her own. Nemu was too valuable an assistant for Mayuri to lose her services several hours a week for something as trivial as 'study sessions'.

Ukitake was constantly sick, Ichigo was still settling into his new role as a lieutenant, and both of the third seats were too busy fighting over who was going to be demoted to fourth seat.

With all the capable captains and lieutenants unable, and none of the other seated officers capable or willing, Tatsuki one day found herself dragged to Zaraki's office and was told that because she was the only officer (heck, the only one _period_) in the Eleventh who had higher than average _kidō_ skills, she was going to be teaching her hyperactive lieutenant _kidō_, that was that, and get the hell out of my office, _now!_

That was why Tatsuki made sure all her play dates (that was what Keigo called them when he found out. Tatsuki gave him a black eye) were in isolated and secluded areas. If Yachiru ever got upset, super happy, or an urge to practice blowing stuff up, there would be no casualties.

Mostly.

Still, Tatsuki had a headache. She'd already dealt with two disciplinary reports from Isane about harassment of healers on duty and missed her lunch break, so there was a fair bit of throbbing behind her eyes.

"Yachiru-fukutaichou, can it wait for a while? I've got this horrible migraine and – "

"Oi! Eleventh!"

Tatsuki looked behind her and saw two _Shinigami_ who had managed to climb up the two hundred or so levels of stairs that led to the top of that particular skyscraper in _Seireitei_.

"Can I help you?" Tatsuki asked.

"Yeah, ya can," slurred the bigger of the two.

Even twenty paces away, Tatsuki could smell the alcohol fumes blowing off of them. It was the middle of the afternoon, but apparently that didn't bother those two.

"Ya can tell us how come yer in _the Eleventh_," sneered the smaller one. He said it like it was a form of raw sewage.

Popular opinion held that the Eleventh Division was the most insane, violent, rowdy, rude, and ill-tempered division in the whole of Soul Society. This was true, and it was also the reason why popular opinion kept its fat mouth _shut_ around all members of said division.

The two idiots in front of Tatsuki were too drunk to care.

The seated officer felt her infamous temper rising, and squashed it down. The Eleventh was a nuthouse, but by gum, it was _her_ nuthouse, and only the fact that the two in front of her were dead, piss drunk kept her from activating Kōga's _shikai_ and booting them off the rooftop.

"I'm in the Eleventh because I'm most useful there," Tatsuki ground out. "Good day, gentlemen."

Yachiru had remained strangely quiet through the whole thing, but the little girl followed her underling when Tatsuki made to brush past the two offenders and leave.

The scarred hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Was a _girly_ like ya doin' in that place anyhow?" Tatsuki could smell the _sake_ on his breath now and was fit to kill a cow. "Yer too pretty for those loons…."

And Tatsuki decided that there was not enough _sake_ in the universe to excuse that kind of comment.

_Reiatsu_ thrummed to life and the crushing pressure knocked the two boneheads down.

"Fukutaichou," Tatsuki said in a Very Scary Voice. "I have changed my mind. It is a perfect time to practice your _kidō_ skills? Do you know why?"

Popular opinion also held that Kusajishi Yachiru was a silly little girl who lucked into her position by being Zaraki's sort-of daughter. This was a very big mistake. She was more than intelligent enough to keep up with Tatsuki's logic.

"Yep! Because we got volunteers!"

"Precisely," Tatsuki said, slowly turning around to face her victims. "Hollows do not stand still. Hollows move. Hollows move very fast. Therefore, you must practice your aim on moving targets."

Tatsuki bent down to stare at the two sacrificial victims.

"Do _you two_ understand?"

The liquor having long since been burned out their systems by terror, the two _Shinigami_ nodded.

"Then _move!"_

Tatsuki's spiritual pressure let up for a moment and the two were off, bounding over the edge of the roof and running away though the air, via collecting and solidifying spiritual particles beneath their feet.

"Take aim, fukutaichou," Tatsuki smiled nastily.

Yachiru squealed and raised her hands together.

"_Hadō 33 - __sōkatsui!"_

* * *

"So, you leveled thirteen of those sky scrapers, blasted up twenty three streets, burned down four dozen shops, injured most of the Fourth Division patrol that was cleaning the sewers in that section when the street collapsed on top of them, and it took Soi Fong-taichou's personal intervention before you ceased all this?"

"That's it in a nutshell, Ayasegawa-san."

"Hm. So, how is our dear fukutaichou's _kidō _instruction coming along?"

"…I'd say she's a natural. I'll have her up to perfect level 99 spells in two years."

"Funny. The great gaping holes in _Seireitei_ say the exact same thing, only in a slightly diferent way."

"The great gaping holes do not have to write up reports to sotaichou, Unohana-taichou, and Zaraki-taichou explaining a bright side to all of this."

"Ah."

_**

* * *

Hadō 33 – sōkatsui**__ – Way of Destruction __33 - Blue Fire, Crash Down. _

_This fires a burst of blue spiritual energy at a target in a similar manner to __**shakkahō**__, red flame cannon, but over a wider area and with more power. _

_**Kōga**__ – The name of Tatsuki's __**zanpakutou**__. Lit. __**Steel fang**__. Resembles an ordinary katana in terms of the blade, but lacking a cross guard and wrappings around the hilt. _

_**Shikai**__ is activated by the phrase, '__**let us outrace the north wind**__.' Tatsuki then shoves Kōga's tip against her chest, which causes the blade to melt into liquid metal and spread to cover her whole body. It then hardens into her skin-tight armor. _

_Final Note – Tatsuki belongs in the 11__th__. Truly._


End file.
